For Sven's guest post, he has chosen to share some interesting facts about odd jobs he's done.
I was Barney. What odd job did you take to support your dream?
When I arrived in LA after college I was focused on becoming a screenwriter. However, I worked various freelance production jobs to help pay the bills. Sometimes there was a lull between gigs, and I needed cash. I recall complaining to a friend of mine about work one day and she said, “I’ve got a friend who started a party clown company. You dress up as a Disney or nursery rhyme character and entertain little kids for an hour or so. He usually hires actors, but you’re goofy enough, I think you could do it.”
“What’s it pay?” I asked.
“Hundred bucks an hour. He takes 60% but you get tips. Oh, and you pay for your own transportation.”
As a writer, I was always looking for the experience that most people don’t usually have. When I arrived in LA I even applied to work on one of the off-shore oil rigs as I thought the experience would be cool. I thought about applying to be a forklift operator at McMurdo in Antarctica, but decided I didn’t want to be too far from Hollywood. I decided to apply for the clown job.
“You know Barney?” The owner asked.
“Barney?” I replied. I had never heard of him.
“He’s the latest pre-school thing. I’m short on Barneys. I’ve got VHS tapes of the show. If you can pick it up in a day, you’ve got the gig.”
“I’m your man.” I was eager for the challenge.
“You’ll have to learn how to make balloon animals with your eyes closed too.”
“Why?”
“You won’t be able to see your hands when you wear the costume. You’re completely covered from head to toe. You’ll need a boom box too. I’ll supply everything else.”
“Done.”
I watched Barney tapes. I re-learned the hokey pokey and other kids songs. The most valuable skills I learned were creating swords and dachshund balloon animals as well as performing magic tricks with my eyes closed. After a week I showed off my new talents to the owner.
“Here’s your costume.” He gave me a thick purple outfit and the address to the party. It was in Valencia and it was the second weekend in July. The average temperature was 110 and it was an outdoor party.
I showed up to the party (in a community recreation center) and met the parents. Once they confirmed my identity, I took off to change in private. Kids are never supposed to see you get in and out of the costume as it ruins the magic.
I spent an hour dancing, singing, and performing tricks using my best Barney voice. As I danced the hokey pokey rivers of sweat poured down my face. I felt someone tugging on my purple velour sleeve.
“Excuse me, Barney. You’re about to trample your glasses.”
For some reason I thought wearing my glasses instead of contacts was the smarter move that morning. The sweat pouring down my face had washed them off and they had shot out of the seam in my costume’s neck. “Oh thank you so much.” I was still channeling Barney. I turned my back on the kids and shoved the glasses through the neck and onto my face. The visibility in the head was about 5%. With the steam on my glasses I was basically blind.
As I finished up my hour one kid shouted out, “Do the Alphabet Song!”
“Barney doesn’t know that one.” I was hoping that a parent would come by and tag me out.
“Yes you do, you sing it all the time on TV!”
“How about the I Love You song!” I replied, trying to move on to a different topic.
“You did it already. We want to hear the Alphabet Song!” Other kids were chiming in now.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know that one.” A week of preparation, learning Barney’s songs and I had somehow missed this one. I thought of the ABC song, but figured Barney had his own version. I didn’t want to make matters worse. Luckily a parent saved me.
“Barney’s done now. He has another birthday party to go to. Say goodbye, kids.”
The kids all ran up and hugged me. I took off to the recreation center bathroom and took off the costume. My clothes underneath looked as if I had jumped in the pool with them on. I felt as if I had lost ten pounds in addition to losing the costume.
The parents paid me $100 plus ten bucks. My take would be $50. However the trip up took almost an hour and it would be longer going back as I had to drop off the costume with the owner.
When I met the owner I asked. “Hey, do you know the Alphabet song, the one that Barney sings?”
“Yeah.” He started to sing. “A, B, C, D, E, F, G…”
“Same one we had as kids?”
“Same.”
“Oh.” I felt pretty stupid.
“You up for another party next week?” He smiled because the parents had called ahead with a good review of my performance.
“I’ll get back to you.”
I decided it was a lot of work for the money and I already had the experience I was looking for. Plus I learned to make balloon animals with my eyes closed (I used a hand pump to blow up the balloon as shoving it in my neck seam would have been scary for the kids). All in all a good experience.
How about you? What’s the oddest job you took to support your dream?
To learn more about Sven's book, State of Mind, visit http://stateofmindbook.com and read my review here.
Thanks, Sven, for stopping by!
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